This time I want to talk about what to do when the adrenaline wears off. Uh oh! All that extra energy is gone and ya feel like you fell down some stairs and then swam underwater for too long and then had someone bleed you with leeches.
Okay so maybe that description is a bit vivid and exaggerated but it is no exaggeration to say at some point the adrenaline that has helped you survive the newborn stage wears off but you still the intensity of caring for an infant. This occurred for me somewhere around the four month mark. It will be different for different people and different infants.
Here are a few things to look out for:
1. You may experience a huge sense of “let down” when the adrenaline wears off. It may be something you feel with your body and/or your emotions. You may get sick or begin to feel “down”, “anxious” or “depressed”
2. You may start thinking things like, “There’s something wrong with me.” or “Why can’t I do this? Other people can.” or “”What am I doing wrong?”
3. You may find yourself wishing you had your old life back.
4. You may act more irritable than usual.
First of all I want to let you know that this is part of the normal ups and downs of becoming a parent and most of the time you will find a way to work through it. Sometimes, feelings of being sad, depressed, loss of joy, anger, irritability, and sluggishness can be signs something deeper is going on such as postpartum depression or anxiety.
Postpartum depression or anxiety can officially be diagnosed for the first twelve (12) months of your child’s life! So if your baby gets to be 8 or 9 or 11 months old and you’re feeling like you’re not yourself for weeks on end, it could be you are dealing with postpartum depression or anxiety and could use a little help from a professional. These conditions are very treatable! Check out postpartumsupport.net for support. You can find a qualified therapist at psychologytoday.com
What to do when the adrenaline wears off:
This is when it’s really important to keep up (or set up) good self care habits
These habits need to include something for your body, mind and spirit. Sometimes one self care habit takes care of all three.
Examples: walking outside for 20 minutes or more every day you can; creating alone time for yourself; journaling, eating your favorite fruit;
2. Manage your thoughts
You may find yourself thinking thoughts that are self defeating, discouraging or hurtful. Notice when you are thinking these kinds of thoughts and begin to replace them with better feeling thoughts. “I suck at this” can become “I’m good at some things and I’m getting better at this.”
3. Share your feelings
Don’t keep everything bottled up inside. There is a real temptation to believe that everyone else is doing great and nobody feels like you do. That is not true! You are not alone and it’s important to be honest about what you are feeling. Sharing will release the suffering behind those feelings and help you feel connected to others.
4. Find other mothers
If you do not already have mom friends, now is the time to get out and find some! Search for local Facebook groups or even check Meetup. You will feel so much better and more energized when you have a chance to be around other mothers. Plus it’s such a gift to find someone you really resonate with! Someone who just seems to “get you.”
5. Believe in your ability to mother
You’ve got this. Believe it mama. I know you can do this.
If you would like a little extra support to get through this transition, or if you just really want a more joyful motherhood, sign up for a free 30 minute coaching session. Asking for support does not mean you are weak or “messed up.” Just pick a time that works for you and plug yourself into my calendar: Lesley’s Calendar.
I consider it an honor to speak with you and share your journey. I would love to hear from you! Pop into the comments below or send me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Hugs dear Mama.
Lesley holds a great deal of affection for quiet time reading with a cup of coffee, yoga and cute shoes. She specializes in coaching new moms. Lesley believes deeply and passionately that every mother already has and already IS exactly what she needs to be to mother her baby with confidence and joy. With 16 years working in social work and a Masters in Counseling, Lesley can help you create a joyful motherhood journey. Her advice has appeared in Thrive Global, Mamapedia, Parent Co, and Fit Pregnancy. Learn more at http://www.lesleyyadon.com